Nurture Your Resiliency

Nurturing Your Resilience

There’s no doubt about it – from time to time, life will knock you down. And as you’ve probably heard a hundred times, the ability to get back up determines your ability to succeed. But what happens when the fight has gone out of you, and you can’t quite find the strength to bounce back? That’s when your nurturer comes into play. Though our culture likes to think of resilience as standing strong no matter what, the truth is that resilience can be an uncomfortable process of gathering together the tattered remnants of yesterday’s misfortune to rise again today with great tenderness, care and determination.

Here are 3 simple ways to cultivate your own ability to bounce back, no matter what.

  1. Connect With Other People

We need each other. When you make time to build and maintain your network by sending texts to your loved ones, calls to your friends, and fostering relationships with colleagues, you build a support network that will be there to help you through the hardest times. As you support them and they support you, the bond between you grows, and you’re rewarded with the ability to face challenges with an army of allies at your back. Alone, we fall. But together, we get back up and become unstoppable. Connecting by video or phone call helps. 


  1. Maintain a Simple, Daily Routine

Routines help you maintain momentum and stay the course despite disruptions. Routines don’t have to be difficult or boring. In fact, the best routines are fun, simple and self-nurturing. For some people it’s doing a few simple stretches every morning. For others it’s journaling over coffee. Whatever your routine entails, make sure that it’s something that you can do (almost) every day, before the day gets under way. That way, no matter what hurdles you may face, you can reset again each day to keep your resilience strong.


  1. Take Stock Your Strengths

Remember who you are – you are a mighty force of nature. Pull out your notebook and chronicle all the times you’ve risen from defeat, found the right words, helped someone else, or finished what you started. You don’t have to wait until you’re knocked down or facing a difficulty to do this. Inventory your strengths regularly, and remember all the tools and resources you need are right inside of you. They are unlimited – they just may need you to shine a little light on them.

When life knocks us down, we don’t always spring right back to our feet…and that’s okay. Utilize these tips to get you back on course and headed in the right direction.

The World Needs You

The World Needs You

It is easy to get discouraged by all the problems and needs in the world. The sheer volume can feel daunting. Often, it seems downright impossible. There is just too much to be done! And one person can’t do it all.

But everyone can do some good.  And EVERY little bit of good makes a difference.

Instead of focusing on “all” the good the world needs, try thinking about what you CAN do. For example, you can pitch in and help your neighbor with a yard project. Or you can do your part by helping an elderly person in need. Or you can “go the extra mile” by offering your time and talents to a project or organization you care about. 

Any act, large or small, makes a difference. And our acts of service create a ripple effect we often don’t see. The only way to do all the good that the world needs isn’t for you to do EVERYTHING… but for you to do SOMETHING. 

What can you do to make a difference today?  Imagine if EVERYONE did a little… we could indeed change the world, one act at a time. 

The Attitude of Gratitude

Develop your Gratitude Mindset by checking out this guide:

Change Your Life For The Better With Gratitude
Most people are unaware of the amazing power that gratitude has and how it can transform their lives for the better. When you practice gratitude each day you will change your life very quickly and be amazed at the transformation that it makes. In this article we will provide you with four examples of how gratitude can make your life a whole lot better.
Other articles on gratitude will not discuss all of these things. We want you to have the complete inside track on how gratitude can transform your life so that you will be inspired to make this significant change in your life. So please read these four examples and then get working on your attitude of gratitude right away.

Use Gratitude to get into a happier mood
It is very easier to get into a bad mood if you do not have an attitude of gratitude. If someone has done something to upset you then rather than getting angry at them why not express some gratitude towards them instead? We appreciate that this is not an easy thing to do and will require some practice but it will certainly be worth it.
You will find when you do this that your mood will change from a negative angry state to a happier state. This is especially useful in your relationship with your partner. Don’t let things that they do to annoy you put you in a bad mood and get into an argument. Instead think how grateful you are and tell them this.

Use Gratitude to improve your Relationship
The number of break ups and divorces in the world today seems to be rising at an alarming rate. People tend to fly off the handle with their partner over the smallest of things. If you are someone that likes to criticize your partner for all of their failings then change your approach and show them gratitude instead. It will be easy for you to find things that you are grateful about your partner when you put your mind to it. Tell your partner why you are so grateful to have them in your life and make them feel great. Notice how their face changes and the words that they say in reply. Gratitude will certainly help you to make your relationships stronger.

You can be a better Parent with Gratitude
If you have children then it is pretty easy for you to become frustrated with them. They do things that you don’t want them to do and this leads to anger and disappointment. In this situation most parents will express their disappointment to their kids which just creates a negative atmosphere. When you criticize your kids they are going to feel really bad about what they have done. So think about why you are truly grateful to have your children and tell them this. This will change their mood straight away and everyone will feel better for the experience.

Gratitude helps you to cope with a Tragedy
If you experience a tragedy in your life such as losing a loved one, then think about the people that are left in your life and express your gratitude for this. We all have to face tragedies in life at some time or another and the most important thing is that you do not let this totally overcome you.
By expressing your gratitude for the people that you still have in your life you will be more positive about moving forward. Use these amazing benefits to transform your life for the better through an attitude of gratitude.

Check out this mindmap for ideas.

The Major Benefits Of Gratitude
A lot of people have heard that adopting an attitude of gratitude can transform their lives for the better but don’t believe that this is true. They are not prepared to make the change to a gratitude based life because they don’t see the rewards for doing this as being worthwhile.
Well in this article we will discuss the major benefits of gratitude and hope that this will convert you to developing an attitude of gratitude. We hope that you will see that these benefits are truly life changing and that making the transition to gratitude is totally worth it.

Gratitude makes you Happier
Nobody can be happy 24 hours a day but when you have an attitude of gratitude you will be happier a lot more than if you don’t have one. How does this work? Well when you appreciate the things that you have in your life you will remove yourself from the “wanting” spiral.
Each time that you think about things in your life to be grateful for, and express your gratitude, then you will feel happy. You can do this several times a day there are no limits. Contrast this to someone who is constantly craving new things in their life. They are not going to be happy very often.

You will become an Optimist
Optimism is a great thing. It transforms your thinking from negative to positive. It gives you hope for the future and you will love the transformation. When you are a pessimist all you see is doom and gloom. You are scared of the future and what it will bring. Your life is controlled by events that happen around you rather than by you.
Optimism does not mean that you just blindly accept everything. What it does mean is that you are able to see opportunities all around you and that you have the confidence that your future is looking bright. If you had anxiety about your future before then optimism will help significantly with this.

Problems will not Overwhelm you
We all have to face problems in our lives and overcome them. For some people even the smallest problems can overwhelm them. For others the really big problems stress them out and they become very anxious. Most people have a very negative attitude towards problems that they face in their lives.
With an attitude of gratitude you will be able to see the good in everything. You will see problems as an opportunity for you to grow. For the larger problems it is a chance for you to learn and do things that you haven’t before. You accept that problems are a part of life and you believe that they will help you to grow as a person.

Physical Health Benefits
A lot of research studies have shown that people that have an attitude of gratitude strengthen their immune system which leads to all other kinds of physical health benefits. With a stronger immune system you will be able to fight off sickness and have the energy to keep going when others have to stop.

Mental Health Benefits
Gratitude is good for your mental health as well. With an attitude of gratitude you will prevent stress and if it does happen then you will deal with it a lot easier. Because expressing gratitude makes you happy it will release hormones that will brighten your mood as well.
With an attitude of gratitude one can keep their mindset hopeful. Don’t despair for what can’t be. Be thankful for what you are able to do. 

Journaling for Health

Journaling Your Way Through Personal Challenges
One of the best ways to get through a personal challenge or crisis is through journaling your thoughts in writing. It helps bring up emotions for clearing. It surfaces creative solutions to the situation you’re dealing with. And it serves as a record of your experience that you may want to turn to again.
The general notion of journaling might not interest everyone. But there are multiple ways to journal, and at least one of them is likely to appeal to (and benefit) you. Here are five formats, each with a different application, that you may want to explore.
A Story Book
Human beings are natural story-tellers, and keeping a story journal can be especially helpful if you’re depressed, struggling with a sudden crisis or unresolved tragedy, or living with a chronic ailment.
Stories have a beginning, middle and end. Write your experience much as you would tell a story. Some experts advise writing about the same episode several times; the retelling often gives new perspective.
A Worry Book
This format can benefit those who suffer from anxiety, stress, or insomnia.
Draw a line down the center of a page. On the left, write some of the issues that are upsetting you and on the right list some of the steps you’ve taken to address the problem, or some solutions you can try. Use this space to plan, organize and strategize for the future.
A Daily Log
This log is useful if you want to get more fit, spend less money, understand your body’s rhythms, or chart your recovery from illness. Use this journal to keep track of anything from growing a garden to growing a child.
In this journal, you simply record the facts: how far you walked or how long you exercised, how much you spent on what, how your body feels, etc. You may also want to write some narrative in addition to the “facts.”
A Couple or Family Journal
Enhances communications, deepens emotional bonds, encourages trust and intimacy.
The journal is left in a place where everyone has free access, anytime. Each person is encouraged to write, recording his or her thoughts or feelings, or in response to another person’s entry. Remember to write compliments and encouragements as well as writing through problems and misunderstandings.
A Gratitude Journal
This can be especially helpful to those who are inclined to be pessimistic, depressed, over-stressed or in the midst of a crisis. And it’s a journal which can bring anyone joy.
Simply make a list of that for which you are thankful. From the smallest to the grandest, the very personal to the global. Every day write five to ten things for which you are grateful. It doesn’t matter if you repeat yourself.

What Needs Do You Need Fulfilled?

Take this Quiz to see how you are doing regarding self-care and self-actualization!

Quiz: How Well Do You Fulfill Your Needs?

A number of years ago humanist psychologist Abraham Maslow realized that the foundation for physical and psychological wellness had to do with getting certain needs met. He developed the “Hierarchy of Needs,” from which the following quiz is adapted. Answer the questions to determine how well your basic and growth needs are being met.
I get adequate sleep and rest.
My basic nutritional needs are met.
I have a place to live that provides warmth and shelter and I am physically comfortable.
Exercise and recreation needs are met through regular routines and planned activities.
My need for sexual expression is fulfilled.
Safety and Security
With very few exceptions, I feel secure and safe from harm.
There is adequate stability and routine in my life.
I experience financial security and prosperity that isn’t based on money.
I feel emotionally safe.
I can expect consistency and fairness in my daily life.
My need for meaningful work is filled.
Love and Belonging
I feel loved—important, wanted, valued, and desirable.
I am able to love myself as well as others.
I have close intimate or affectionate relationships with significant others.
I have a sense of belonging in my family.
I am able to understand others and feel understood by them.
I have a few very close friends and a larger circle of other friends and associates.
I am involved in communities such as clubs or teams, church or spiritual groups, professional, cultural or social organizations.
Though I am sometimes alone, I don’t often experience loneliness.
Esteem of Self and Esteem of Others
Most of the time I feel competent and up to the rigors of day-to-day life.
I live with integrity and respect for myself.
I trust my opinions, my thoughts and ideas, and my intuition.
I have confidence in myself and my abilities.
My self-care includes physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual aspects of my life.
I feel useful and that I make valuable contributions to others.
I experience feelings of independence and freedom.
I feel respected and appreciated by others.
I receive adequate recognition and attention.
I have a sense of living with purpose.
I am able to take risks and meet new challenges.
My need to be true to my own nature is being fulfilled.
I experience a feeling of peace and well-being most of the time.
My deepest desires are being realized.
Having our needs met doesn’t mean we begin at birth with the need for adequate food and shelter and move forward as we age until we fulfill our needs for self-actualization. Life is not lived in a straight line. Nor does being self-actualized mean everything is perfect. Rather this quiz offers checkpoints along the way of gratification and personal growth.
If you have any questions about this quiz, or want more information, please don’t hesitate to ask. Everyone deserves to have their needs met.


Waking Up


Now the world is slowly waking up. As things start to reopen people are waking up to issues such as conditions in the homes for the aged, racism, wage parity, etc. Yes, we’ve heard about these issues before, but nothing was done about them. Perhaps now is the time for change. As the world reawakens how can things be done differently?

How about yourself? How have you woken up after this time of self-reflection? What has reawakened in you? What do you see differently now? What do you want to change? In what new ways might you now seek self-actualization? Check out my Feature Article for further discussion on this topic. 

As I write this on June 1, we are in the transit time of Gene Key 35 where the shadow frequency is about the hunger for what we are addicted to, that feeling of looking to satiate the hunger that feels like it can never be fulfilled. No external method will solve this until the person is willing to balance their own internal chemistry by looking at the hungers and rather than looking externally to solve the issue, uses the energy internally to leap into a new level of awareness of the heart with love to experience the gift of adventure. Pure unconditional love creates the siddhi of Boundlessness where the heart knows no bounds. This level of love consciousness allows the possibilities of miracles. Check out more about Richard Rudd’s Gene Keys at

So in the spirit of love and boundlessness, what can be changed this week in our world?

Waking Up
What does waking up mean? Awakening in the spiritual sense is increasing awareness and being more conscious. Perhaps a person in the process of awakening becomes more aware of the illusions and conditioning that are found in everyday reality and understands that we are not to control everything from our minds, but allow love through our hearts. As one lives an open-hearted life and looks at the fears, one can open one’s self up to the higher frequencies of life energy to flow through (love energy). It is as simple as allowing love and feeling connected with all things. 

Looking at the fears means working through them, as the gift is always on the other side. Sometimes this work can be a bit of an initiation. Some people look to coaching to help them through this and this is an area that I focus on having had the experience of working through it myself (and continue to do so). I can use any number of my tools to support the process. Are you feeling something has shifted within you? 

I will now continue with the theme of Creativity. Last month I looked at how Creativity can help relieve stress, but it can also add so much more to your life, not to mention helping awakening as you learn to love life. 

Rekindle Your Creativity
Harnessing your ingenuity will make your life more meaningful and enjoyable. Discover here why creativity is so important and welcome more innovation and inspiration into your daily activities.
How Creativity Enriches Your Life

  1. Experience more joy. Creativity flourishes when you think positively. Find your passions and cultivate them. Embrace challenges with curiosity. Observe the conditions that help you get “in the zone.”
  2. Improve your physical health. Studies show that creativity exercises are an effective way to relieve stress and boost our immune system. Those who think resourcefully also cope better with aging and experience fewer declines in their cognitive functions.
  3. Strengthen your relationships. A sense of imagination can even enhance your personal relationships. Break out of the same old conflicts by searching for common ground. Look at challenging situations from the other person’s perspective and try out a different response.
  4. Perform better at work. Collaboration is integral to the creative process. Help create a more cooperative atmosphere where colleagues complement each other’s strengths rather than competing.
  5. Be all you can be. We all have some form of creative genius. Enjoy the pleasure of developing your own gifts. With persistence and an open mind, you’ll expand your skills for responding to all kinds of challenges.

Now you may ask, how do I get more creative? Remember that being quiet can actually bring about more creativity as ideas percolate. Thus now may be time for some great creativity. 

Techniques for Sparking Your Creativity

  1. Brainstorm. Generating ideas is usually the first step in the creative process. Put aside any judgments and just let the options flow. Now’s your chance to get zany and experimental.
  2. Incubate. Before inspiration hits, there’s usually a quiet time while we digest our ideas.
  • Help your unconscious mind along by taking a quiet walk or a relaxing shower. Routine tasks like washing dishes can also trigger insights. Think about a dilemma right before bed, and you may wake up with a solution.
  1. Take action. Make a plan for how to implement your ideas. Regard every attempt as a learning experience even if the immediate results fail to pan out. Remember that successful people succeed because they take more risks.
  2. Lighten up. Free up your fertile mind.
  • Some gentle aerobics and stretches will relax your body.
  • Meditation or soft music can dispel anxieties or boredom.
  • Humor is a very powerful tool for lowering inhibitions and seeing things more vividly.
  1. Change your routine. Any adjustment to your usual way of doing things can help you take a fresh look at life. Take an alternate route to work or visit a coffee shop on the other side of town. Expand your horizons by looking for ways to experience novelty on a regular basis.
  2. Observe the details. On the other hand, you can re-invent the most familiar aspects of your life by viewing them from a fresh angle. Think about how your kitchen would appear to an alien from space.
  3. Ignore the clock. Get up early so you can savor the luxury of open-ended time. Forget about deadlines. Focus on the present moment instead of thinking about the next task you have scheduled. Feel what it’s like to be free from hurrying. Try to remember that sensation as you start your day.
  4. Get a hobby. Make the most of your leisure time with creative outlets that incorporate your passions. You may delight in watercolors. Or maybe you really get a kick out of working on cars.
  5. Seek inspiration. Surround yourself with whatever you find invigorating. Visit art museums or go camping. Spend more time playing with your kids and getting caught up in their excitement each time they see something new.

Transform your life into a work of art by tapping into your creative side. Once you discover and develop your passions, you’ll be on your way to feeling more accomplished and fulfilled.

Be more aware of how you feel trying out different things. Start your own tapestry of art. How can you live with boundless love?

Stop and Pause

The World has been put on Pause. We are all in this together. I started off April’s newsletter with the same words and it still applies for May as the restrictions are still in place here in Ontario due to the covid-19 virus. In April I asked, What is Your Role? Did you take time to sit with that question?

This month I am asking you to pause. I am building on the theme of pausing and going within. Perhaps we have kept so busy keeping busy, working from home, doing puzzles, cleaning and cooking that we may not have actually just stopped and paused. If you were to take 5-10 min to pause in the silence, what would happen? Can you stop doing? Stop thinking? Just sit there and breathe. Or maybe your way of pausing is slowly dancing to your own breath. There is no shame or blame in this. It is a practice that I think is worth practicing. There is no right or wrong. You can just try your best as often as you can. It really is that simple. 

Now you may be wondering, why? Why is it a good practice to pause? There are many reasons and it is a good meditative practice to follow. Pausing is the time for reflection. Pausing is the time for allowance. Every pause is the time for greater possibilities. This is when the breakthrough happens. The big changes. Magic can happen in the pause. This is where evolution occurs. Imagine the amount of positive change that can be occurring in this time of world pause. 

Richard Rudd of the Gene Keys ( talks about the benefits of contemplation. Same thing as pausing, however, he suggests contemplating on a gene key or concept. ‘There is no problem in your life that cannot be resolved through the Art of Contemplation’. “This book shows you how to bring the magic of contemplation into every corner of your life, resulting in a deep sense of spaciousness, calm and clarity that is so rare in our modern world”. Richard says contemplation can lead to higher states of absorption and embodiment. Also, Richard says we approach the time of the Great Change. This is a phase of evolution in which all systems in our universe will make a quantum leap into a higher dimension. Many spiritual traditions understand that this has already begun. 

Pivot is a word you may have heard lately. People use the word pivot to mean how things can abruptly change to a different direction and continue on. Richard uses pivot to mean quantum leaps in understanding and evolution. Pausing may result in pivoting, or it will if you sit with it long enough. 

We are currently in the transit of Gene Key 24 which describes the shadow of addiction. What might you be addicted to? Think about why you might be addicted to it. And how you can reset. The gift of this Gene Key is invention. As you pause, what creative process might you begin. Day dreaming is a perfectly fine activity. Speaking of creativity, check out my article below. Now the Siddhi of Gene Key 24 is Silence. This is the ultimate place we can reach when our minds are silent from thinking. “The key is to relax, because as only you relax can you find the magical gaps and experience the truth directly”. 

With radionics I send to a body the information to increase the possibility of something happening. I like to develop programs using the Gene Keys to help make some changes. For example using the Gene Key 24 I could write a program to include the letting go of addictions and increasing invention and creativity. You really can use radionics for anything.

So try to pause in your day as many times as you are able. It does not have to be long, even a minutes helps. Take some deep breaths and be aware of your body, and pause.

Living Your Life Well

Optimizing Your Life Energy

 As the author of more than 30 books, including the bestselling series Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Dr. Richard Carlson helped millions of people create lives of greater peace, connection and caring by focusing on the more important things in life. The last chapter of one of his books is titled “Live This Day As If It Might Be Your Last. It Might Be!” Ironically and sadly, Carlson died unexpectedly at age 45 on a plane flight to New York.

 How better to drive home his point?

We really don’t know how long we have in this life. Yet, we spend so much of our life energy mulling over what’s in the past or worrying about what the future holds. We get caught up in the minutia of life, losing sight of the bigger picture of what’s actually important.

How much energy would we free up by living more in the now? How can we optimize the time we have? Here are some ideas:

Clarify your values and create a personal mission statement. The clearer you are about what’s deeply important to you (your values) and who you are at your core, the more likely you will succeed in living your life “on purpose.” Your mission statement is the guidepost for knowing if you’re going in the right direction and provides information to put you back on course if you’re not acting in alignment with your values and mission.

Let the past be in the past. How often do you spend living in the past? Do you re-live old memories over and over, or think of clever things you should have said? Do you wish things were like they were in the “good ol’ days?” Whether it’s letting go of your anger at the driver who cut you off just this morning, or regretting the loss of your first love, living in the past keeps you from fully experiencing your life right here, right now.

Release worrying about the future. Mark Twain said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” So much of what we worry about never happens, yet we spend countless hours and huge amounts of energy battling future problems. Notice how much time you spend in the future and gently remind yourself to return to the present. What action can you take right now that will move you forward?

Keep things in perspective. It’s usually our attachment to things being a certain way that leads to frustration. Practice accepting “what is” if you want to experience a greater sense of peace. Everything that happens is our teacher. We might not have chosen each of our lessons, and don’t necessarily have to enjoy them; however, if we choose the perspective that things happen “for us” and not “to us,” life will be a much more growth-filled, joyous ride!

Taking Responsibility

Recognizing Victimhood

Samantha doesn’t realize it, but there’s a victim lurking inside her. Though she wears a sunny disposition outside, inside, the perky 42-year-old mother is resigned to three ideas:

1. It’s too late in her life to go back to college like she always wanted to. She’d look ridiculous, and who has the time, anyway?

2. Her ex-husband is to blame for her financial problems and for her children’s disrespectful behavior.

3. No matter what she does—no matter how many self-help workshops she attends or how much inner work she does with herself—things are not really ever going to change for her.

Quite a life sentence she’s given herself: hopelessness and helplessness, twin offspring of the same poisonous parent known as “Victimhood.”

When we operate from a victim mentality, we give the power to create our own life to someone else, and then we moan about how controlling the other is. To avoid taking responsibility, we create (and protect at all costs!) the dangerous illusion that we are always right. We blame others for our circumstances and remain stuck in a silent “poor me” that keeps us small. 

This is not to say that we can always control what happens to us. Some people’s behavior is abusive. Hurricanes or other natural disasters occur. The company downsizes.

We can, however, always control how we respond. We can refuse to accept abusive behavior, leaving a relationship, if necessary. We can recognize that others can only have control if we let them. We can see the banquet of choices before us, and choose what appeals to us, even if that means going back to college at age 42. 

Here are some clues to help you recognize when you’re carrying around a victim mentality and robbing yourself of your personal power:

•  Your first response to a setback is to blame someone else for what has happened.

•  You often find yourself beginning thoughts with phrases like “I can’t…” or “I’m no good at…” or “I’ve never been able to.” You believe that nothing you do ever works out. 

•  Conversations with friends and family are often about how hard your life is.

•  When friends offer advice, you usually counter it with a “Yes, but…” since they can’t know how difficult your situation really is.

•  You’re always so busy with work and the things you need to do to survive that you just don’t have time to do things you want to do for yourself.

•  You think that other people usually cause you to feel the way you do, that you’d be more centered if it weren’t for them.

•  You’re convinced that if you weren’t tied down to all these obligations, or if only you had more support, you could really do some of the things you always think about doing.

•  When angry, you usually begin sentences with “You” instead of “I.”

You choose: small and powerless and perfect, or stepping up to meet your biggest self—warts and all—and live the life you want. Which will it be?

Note that the word responsibility has the root word, respond. It is all about how you respond.